listen & learn

So one of my friends told me that they really enjoyed reading my blog on myspace and so I went back and read old posts and it wasn't half bad. I remember that I really used to enjoy writing, but I always thought my writing was silly and not very good. I have given up a lot of things that I used to love. I think I still love them, I just don't make time for them anymore. Mostly, I love David, and he takes a lot of my time.

So if I start writing again, it might take a while for things to be interesting, but I'm sure I can come up with one or two interesting things to write... eventually.

I feel like getting older makes you deeper. I don't mean to go on about how deep I've become, but I do feel like it's harder to communicate deeper stuff that you learn as you get more experience and life. I remember my mom telling me all the stuff that I'm learning now and I just didn't understand it then. I guess there are some things that only life can teach you. Life is wonderful and hard.

Here are some things that have made me deeper:

I had a baby
I had a miscarriage
I started seriously considering adoption
I chose a church that I like (instead of someone else choosing it for me)
I run a lot of things at my work
I own a house
I know how to pay bills
I make a budget and am learning to stick to it
I'm getting out of debt
I look at real estate for fun
I think about what's good business
I've seen people for who they really are
I am learning to lead silently

Someone at work mentioned that I had my hands full right now and I was thinking that even though I don't talk to this person a lot, they recognized that my personal life was kinda crazy right now and it made me really appreciate their thoughtfulness. I don't know about everyone else, but I feel like I go through life thinking about my life instead of the lives of those around me. I want to see what other people are dealing with and let them know that I care. The more I experience, the more I think about things that other people deal with. I think about what a big deal it must be to have cancer... even if it goes away. I think about what it must be like to lose your mom or what it's like to be afraid of losing your mom. I think about what it must be like to live next door to people like us... with noisy dogs. =) How do I encourage the people that are living these things? Life is tough and we need to encourage each other to get through it right.

Wishing I were happier,
JT


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