Joy & Woe

Often, I think about the reason for our existence. Why are we in a world that is physically separate from God? Why can't we just be with Him in Heaven from the beginning? I believe that this world is a preparation for the face-to-face relationship we will share with Him in Heaven. In this world, He allows circumstances to test and try us to prove that we are His true friends and loves. He teaches us through the things that happen in life. When we know Him, He takes the ordinary and turns it into something extraordinary in our lives. When pain seems overwhelming to dear ones and I know that He can heal them, when I struggle emotionally with raising two little ones, when too many people hurt across the world and I know He sees and cares about every person's sorrow (Matthew 10:29-31), when I'm tired, or afraid... I come to the conclusion that He allows the pain on this earth for the joy of the real relationship that develops through the pain. Sometimes it seems like all of life is a pain when you try to live it in a way that is pleasing to God... but I think I've figured out why.

Living life for Christ is painful because we are used to living for ourselves and when we give up our own desires and right to pleasure and satisfaction for the sake of making the life of others better... it hurts. But what joy waits for us as a reward!!! Every day that I learn to give away my time and energy and love to my children at the cost of my own life is worth it! My beautiful children gain from the time and energy and love... and in addition, I am storing up riches in Heaven. We love Jesus by loving those around us with selfless, unconditional love. At times, the sorrow of giving up myself and my desires seems like it is all consuming. Knowing that my life should be full of joy, it seems confusing... but I have come to a more full realization... joy and sorrow go hand in hand. You can have both at the same time! The sorrow and woe of letting go will never disappear... that's why, in this life, we are constantly sober minded. Yet we also laugh and rejoice at the joy we have in the presence of God. When Heaven comes, all of the selfishness that we have will disappear (that causes the sorrow) and we will only have JOY! What a wonderful day! But the sorrow must be endured for a short time in order to earn all the joy!

Proverbs 13:7

There is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing: there is that maketh himself poor, yet hath great riches.

People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

— Mother Teresa

With this in mind, it's easy to become people that are obsessed with our failure to give for others... just remember that we can't change ourselves by dragging up our past. God is the one that does the changing work in us. No need to beat yourself up for not being perfect... just trust that He will finish the work that He started in you (Philippians 1:6). He said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). If we rest in the joy of His presence while we live this life, that becomes true for us.

For those of you that have pain... emotional, physical, etc., find HOPE in Jesus!

I would like to post a few stanzas from a poem by William Blake. A dear friend read this years ago and it struck me so deeply that I still remember...

It is right it should be so:
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know
Through the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.

Here is a link to the entire poem: http://www.online-literature.com/blake/612/

Another thing I have been thinking about... a lot of Christians seem to believe that when you come to know Christ that you have to completely change who you are and that if you do anything good that you can't take credit for it... I think I have a little bit of a different perspective on this. The Bible says that people were created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27)... I think that He put a little bit of who He is into each of us. He gives one person a bit of His creativity and another an understanding of His scientific mind. Some are natural leaders and others are facilitators. Whatever part of the image of God is on you, you are beautiful and wonderful! ...I am fearfully and wonderfully made... (Psalm 139:14). This should NOT be erased or changed. God wants us to carry out the desires, skills, and talents He has placed in us. The problem that needs to be corrected is the sin that came in after God created something perfect. To me, I see God's perfect creation polluted by sin... kind of like cancer. You may have a perfectly functioning liver, pancreas, and kidneys, but when cancer comes, it not only perverts the function of a single body part, but it spreads to the entire body if it is not treated. Jesus Christ is the treatment that removes the cancer from our lives. He doesn't kill us and start over, instead, He heals us and makes us what He meant for us to be in the first place. Because of this, we should be thankful and praise Him for the amazing person He made each of us to be! We can be proud of who we are. Realizing that He created us gives the ultimate humility. (Romans 9:19-21 & pretty much all of Job) We may be happy in this life for our accomplishments and for building on the talents that He gave us in the first place knowing in our heart of hearts that everything we have and everything we are is due in full to our creator! Remember the servant that hid the money that was entrusted to him in the ground. His master was so displeased that he took the little money that had been hiding in the ground and gave it to the servant that had invested and increased the money that was entrusted to him. (Matthew 25:14-28)

We have a lot to be thankful for. In light of that, let's press on (Philippians 3:13-14)!

Pressing on, pressing on

All my distress is going, going, gone

-Relient K

And check out the lyrics to "Less is More" by Relient K:

"Less Is More"

Jesus, I pray
Take all my mistakes
Throw them away
Destroy them for my sake

Jesus, I call out 'cause I'm sorry
Because I fall so short of your glory
To the best of my ability
I'm practicing humility
And I lay myself before
'Cause less is more

All that I have
I lay before
With my pride on the floor
Cause to you less is more
All that I have
I lay before
With my pride on the floor
Cause to you less is more

I pour out myself
All that I am
You love me so much
That you fill me again
And may these words on my heart, on my lips
Somehow mean so much more than this

Jesus, I pray
Know what I'm trying to say

All that I have
I lay before
With my pride on the floor
'Cause to you less is more
All that I have
I lay before
With my pride on the floor
Cause to you less is more

I pour out myself, before you were Lord
I hold nothing back, 'cause to you less is more
And may these words on my heart on my lips,
Somehow mean so much more than this

Jesus, I pray
Just know what I'm tryin' to say

Jesus, I plead
Please purify me
Make my heart clean
Drench me with your mercy
Jesus, I pray
I love you, I need you
For the rest of my days
I swear I will seek you
To the best of my ability
I'm practicing humility
And I lay myself before
'Cause less is more.

VDay

I often struggle with Valentines day because I want everything to be perfect. Over the years, when people fail to meet my soaring expectations, I get disappointed and frustrated... even angry. This year, I still struggled, but I decided to try to focus on making this day special for others instead of worrying about it being special for me.

Yesterday, my sisters and I made chocolate covered strawberries. Besides the beautiful result (yummy gifts for friends and family), we had lots of fun making them. I wish I had taken pictures. Then today, we went to the homeschool valentines skating party... a Stablein/Tinsley tradition. Okay, so I'm not officially homeschooling yet, but we have connections. ;-) Everyone in my family came to the party except for Russell and my dad. Hooray for flexible schedules! David had so much fun skating, playing skeeball, getting and giving valentines, and eating snacks. I posted photos on Facebook, so be sure to check them out there.

In preparation for the party, we decorated a shoebox with lots of Spiderman stickers (David's favorite superhero). Today, David gave each of my sisters, my mom, and Felicia a rose and a box of candy. My mom got me a gorgeous rose and Mike got me some beautiful roses and candy and made me a really sweet card. After going to Zumba with Shannon, I made a yummy dinner and used my nice china and turned the TV off while we ate.

All in all, it turned out to be a really nice day. Turns out that you can create your own happiness instead of expecting to get it from others. (Imagine that!) =) Taking the time and finding ways to bless others is often the best way to find peace and happiness. I love my family SO much. My mom was so encouraging to me today and I'm so glad to have so many wonderful people in my life who love me! I couldn't ask for more wonderful children, husband, and family. Happy Valentines Day to EVERYONE!!!

To thine own self be true...

It's hard to do, but to be true to your foundational beliefs, the essence of who you are, is important. It's especially hard when the person you are isn't the same (or even close to the same) as everyone else. It's a challenge not to go on the defense or the offense when other people misunderstand, or even mock and attack the fundamental core of your being. Being true to yourself and allowing the external things to fly past without a reaction from you is almost impossible. But that is true confidence.

Don't be mistaken in what I mean, however. Being true to yourself doesn't mean you have the right to force your beliefs and opinions on others. The same confidence that allows you to be true to you requires you to be harmless to others and to understand that each person comes from a different place. You must allow for perspectives other than your own. Perspective in art is a great example... Depending on where the artist stands in the room, the outcome of the piece of art changes.

The important thing in all of this being true is not to attack or hate each other. Respect others, listen to others, consider others, and do to others what you would want them to do to you. Humility is essential to true confidence.

Memphis Area Consignment Sales

This year, I'm gonna try to find clothes for my children at consignment sales in Memphis. You can get great, gently used clothing for good prices. These sales have lots of name brand clothes and beautiful smocked dresses. Since I did the research to find the sales myself, I thought I'd share the info about dates, locations and websites for 2011 Spring/Summer sales. Remember that if you volunteer at the sales, you generally get more money for the clothes you sell and you get first pick of the great stuff. Also, if you want to volunteer or sell clothes, you must sign up ahead of time, so check dates for dropping off clothes and volunteer meetings on the website of the sale you're interested in.

February 10-12, 2011

KidsTown Kids Consignment

Memphis, TN

http://www.consignkidstown.com/

February 17-19, 2011

Kiddie Land Consignment

Cordova, TN

http://www.kiddielandconsignment.com/

March 3-6, 2011

Children's Clothing Exchange

Memphis, TN

http://glossonchildrensconsignment.com/

March 4-5, 2011

Sycamore View Children's Clothing Sale

Memphis, TN

http://www.svccs.com/CurrSale.htm

March 4-5, 2011

Germantown United Methodist Consignment

Germantown, TN

http://www.germantownumc.org/index.php/site/page/238/1/156

March 10-12, 2011

Oh Baby! Consignment Event

Southaven, MS

http://www.ohbabysale.com/

March 25-26, 2011

Everything for Kids Sale

Memphis, TN

http://www.everythingforkidssale.com/

April 1-2, 2011

Faith Baptist Consignment

Memphis, TN

http://www.faithclothingsale.com/curriculum.html

April 1-2, 2011

Highland Clothing Sale

Cordova, TN

http://highlandclothingsale.com/

April 4-9, 2011

Emmanuel Children's Clothing Sale

Memphis, TN

http://www.emmanuelclothingsale.org/dates.html

April 9-11, 2011

Mommy's Secret Consignment

Southaven, MS

http://www.mommyssecret.com/

Adjustment

As frustrated (and even depressed) as I sometimes get with this adjustment to staying home, I am beginning to find things that I really enjoy about it. There are times when I feel like there is something wrong with me because I haven't been enjoying being a stay-at-home mom. But perhaps I was just looking in the wrong places. With this opportunity I have been given, I really want to find ways to bless others and be productive. I was watching an episode of Extreme Home Makeover recently and one of the guys on there was talking about how (in the middle of his misfortune) he never felt sorry for himself and even kept a list of things he and his family wanted to do for other people. When asked about it, he basically said that life is not about helping ourselves (with entertainment, money, status, power, etc.), it is about helping other people. That keeps coming back to me and I have started to consider how much time I put into just surviving and entertaining myself. I want to find ways to spend my time investing in things that are more important (and eternal)! That doesn't mean that I have to neglect myself and I certainly can't spend so much time doing things for others that I don't have time for my family. But I think that I can start with some small things, like bringing a meal to someone who needs it. When I get to the point where I don't have a baby attached to my breast 24/7, I'd like to find some volunteering opportunities. It would also be good to find ways to just build relationships with other people. I'm happiest when I am in a community of people and just hanging out with others. Mike and the kids and I have had some great times as we have been having friends over more often and developing better relationships with them. I love it!

One of the things I am learning to do is SPEND LESS MONEY! Boy, is that hard! Since my job paid for almost all of the extra things in our life (like entertainment, parties, eating out, etc.), I am learning what a dollar is really worth. At first, I kicked against the idea of limitations and restrictions, but I'm finding that limitations really help your creativity! I have had fun finding ways to save money at the grocery store, finding free or cheap fun things to do, cooking and baking, and learning to budget (for real this time).

I'm also getting to spend more time with my wonderful children. I have been working with David on his colors, counting, shapes, etc. I get to just sit and look at Keeley for a while. She's starting to make sounds I think I'll be able to report her first smile soon! Since my day is filled with children, staying at home all day hasn't afforded me much more time to spend with Mike, but I'm hoping that as Keeley gets more independent, I'll get things done during the day so I can spend more time in the evenings with Mike. Right now, I can't wait for him to get home so he can help out with one kid while I get something done. I have to tell myself that this is just a phase so I don't get too discouraged with my inability to get things done the way that I'm used to getting them done.

Some of the things I'm considering doing as I adjust:
Make a folder of pictures of the way I want to decorate my house
Work more on writing my book about common sense business
Build a website for a business I'm considering starting
Build a blog/website with info about events and things to do around Memphis
Be more creative with cooking and baking
Take photos with the awesome camera Mike got me for Christmas
Do more crafty/artsy projects
Study real estate (maybe go to school to study real estate)
Read more
Plant and maintain a vegetable garden and do some landscaping

This week, I want to:
Find a good book to start
Write more on my book
Take some photos of Keeley and David and edit them
Take some photos at playgroup on Friday
Make a menu and some yummy meals
Find some photos on istockphoto.com for building a website
Put more music on my iPhone

Okay, before I go, I have to tell you what my David did yesterday. Hannah (my sister) asked him how much he loved her and he said "This much!" as he held his arms out. Then, when my sister, Berakkah, asked how much David loved her, he said... "A little less." The funniest part is that Berakkah is his favorite person in the world and he seemed to just be messing with her. When Mike asked him about it that evening, David said "kiddin!" Hilarious! David is so much fun!

Rally Day

I remember walking through the Legislative Plaza in Nashville, TN with my dad, when I was younger, trying to keep up with his long strides as we visited our representatives on Rally Day. My dad tells the story of us visiting one representative to explain how excellent home education was. My dad told the representative that he was teaching me (nine years old at the time) some New Testament Greek. I sang the Greek alphabet for the Rep. and then he said, "Well, I know some Greek myself. Can you tell me what 'anthropos' means?" I immediately blurted out, "man," leaving the representative a bit dumbfounded (or so my dad says). =)

This year, my dad, who is Greg Stablein (Coordinator for Gateway Christian Schools- Total Home-Education Department), went to Rally Day, along with my sister, Berakkah, my son, David, and me. Here is a photo of my dad holding my son (David calls him "Boom").

Even before home education was legal in Tennessee, brave home educators have been visiting the state capitol to lobby for their right to home educate (since 1985). It's been a while since I went to Rally Day and yesterday was my first time back in years. I must say that it's quite a bit more organized than I remember. The excellent folks at THEA (especially Lana and Claiborne Thornton) do a great job of showcasing the accomplishments of home educators in the War Memorial Building's auditorium, encouraging current home educators with speakers, providing lunch and opportunities to visit with representatives and senators, and much more. This year, we didn't get the chance to walk through the Legislative Plaza to visit our representatives to tell them of our appreciation for their hard work and ask them to continue to support home education as a fundamental right, but it was great to see home educators from across the state come together to rally for the right of parents to raise their children in the way that the Lord has convicted them.

listen & learn

So one of my friends told me that they really enjoyed reading my blog on myspace and so I went back and read old posts and it wasn't half bad. I remember that I really used to enjoy writing, but I always thought my writing was silly and not very good. I have given up a lot of things that I used to love. I think I still love them, I just don't make time for them anymore. Mostly, I love David, and he takes a lot of my time.

So if I start writing again, it might take a while for things to be interesting, but I'm sure I can come up with one or two interesting things to write... eventually.

I feel like getting older makes you deeper. I don't mean to go on about how deep I've become, but I do feel like it's harder to communicate deeper stuff that you learn as you get more experience and life. I remember my mom telling me all the stuff that I'm learning now and I just didn't understand it then. I guess there are some things that only life can teach you. Life is wonderful and hard.

Here are some things that have made me deeper:

I had a baby
I had a miscarriage
I started seriously considering adoption
I chose a church that I like (instead of someone else choosing it for me)
I run a lot of things at my work
I own a house
I know how to pay bills
I make a budget and am learning to stick to it
I'm getting out of debt
I look at real estate for fun
I think about what's good business
I've seen people for who they really are
I am learning to lead silently

Someone at work mentioned that I had my hands full right now and I was thinking that even though I don't talk to this person a lot, they recognized that my personal life was kinda crazy right now and it made me really appreciate their thoughtfulness. I don't know about everyone else, but I feel like I go through life thinking about my life instead of the lives of those around me. I want to see what other people are dealing with and let them know that I care. The more I experience, the more I think about things that other people deal with. I think about what a big deal it must be to have cancer... even if it goes away. I think about what it must be like to lose your mom or what it's like to be afraid of losing your mom. I think about what it must be like to live next door to people like us... with noisy dogs. =) How do I encourage the people that are living these things? Life is tough and we need to encourage each other to get through it right.

Wishing I were happier,
JT


www.gatewaychristianschools.com